I'll be home for...

NEW YEARS!! I'm quite excited about that because I miss my family. I know that so much has changed and I know that it'll be a little weird going to my old house but I know it'll be nice at the same time. It's gonna be hard though cause now I have to leave a brand new kitty named Apple at my apartment all alone. Well not completely alone. Becky, Jamie and Kyrsten said they'd come over and watch her once a day while I was gone so I don't have to board her at a vet's office or have a "pet sitter" come watch her. I feel better about having people I trust come to visit with her. And she's truly super low maintenance even though she's probably not even one year old yet.

So my apartment is pretty barren right now. I have no christmas decorations up this year. It's a weird feeling but I just wasn't on top of it this year. It feels weird but then again it's how it is this year. Next year I'll be more prepared and have a tree and everything. Next year will be different as far as lots of things go in my personal and professional life. I don't want to stay med-surg forever so I'm thinking that as soon as I hit my 6 month mark for my time at work. I'm thinking L&D, PICU, Peds, NICU or post pardum. I'm not sure how great I'd be at L&D or post pardum cause I've never had kids but I still think I'd like it. PICU/Peds is where my heart lies for the moment but we'll see after I shadow.

I'll post new years resolutions once I've thought of them.

Merry Christmas everyone!

♥

"I need another story..."

This is very true. I feel like some days I'm having the time of my life and others I feel like I'm going in slow motion.

I just started as a brand new nurse. Completely on my own. No strings or umbilical cord to keep me tied. I feel such freedom and yet I feel so scared. I did 6 days in a row and everything was great. I had a rocky first day, I felt like my brain was trying to catch up with what my body was doing. I kept forgetting to get things and kept forgetting to bring prn pain meds. One PA made a joke to me which completely made me want to cry but I held it together cause I knew he was only joking and it was a completely harmless joke. He and I were on the same page after that. He's pretty awesome. In fact most of the Neuro PA's are pretty awesome. After that moment, I knew I would be OK. Well, then I had to call a doc on my own. Which was different but the same as when you have a preceptor. I've called and spoken to doc's plenty of times before, but only with a preceptor close by to make sure I say the right things. Now it's ALL on me. Scary but very freeing. Like not wearing underwear under a dress. Then after THAT moment, when it was all over and the doc heard me out and I gave all the appropriate info and the convo finished, then I knew I would be OK.

"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world...like I'm the only one who knows your heart..."

Went to visit Anthony this past weekend. Every time I see him we talk more seriously about being married and having a future together. It's amazing. I've wanted this for a while and I knew that he wasn't ready the whole time I was but now I feel like we're on the same page. He doesn't want me to sacrifice anything I want to do and the same for me about him. We completely support each other. Everything is so great right now with he and I. It's amazing.

Tonight and tomorrow night are my last nights of freedom and then it's back to the grind.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!
♥

This week has been absolutely crazy. Lets start with last Friday, the work week from hell. I worked 6 days in a row so from Friday night thru Wednesday night. By the time wednesday rolled around I was dead tired and just wanted it to be 0700 on Thursday morning. during this whole escapade, I was pretty sure my friends had forgotten about me but lucky me, they popped up to see me on Thursday morning during good morning med time. I was much pleased. =]

This weekend I came to see Anthony again and even though I missed out...again on doing something with my friends, it was worth it cause seeing him makes me less of a grumpus. Sometimes I just feel like my relationship suffers with my friends cause we're on two different schedules right now. I work nights and they work days and we never see each other. Well almost never. I'm not really sure how to feel about this. Part of me is sad, but part of me feels that this is how it's supposed to be. I mean, this is the path that is being laid out for me. I'm going to marry Anthony and we're going to have a crazy army life together with children and a dog (which is going to be pretty exciting and I'm naming the dog Jeffery) but at the same time, these are my friends and I do miss them. We'll get it figured out, its just difficult right now. But life would be boring if it was too easy.

On a happy note, I saw Beth yesterday, which always makes me happy. She's almost done in San Antonio and that makes me sad...BUT she is moving on to continue her army nurse work in Maryland. =] I think weekend after next, I'll come back and take a tour of post, one where I can walk around and see lots of things and take pictures (I NEVER remember my camera anymore), and we can just hang out and be merry. Maybe we'll drink some more Dosaritas. =]

Time to make fried chicken with my lover boy. =]
Back to Belton tomorrow morning.
♥

So I finally have internet in my apartment. It makes my life so much better because now I can pay my bills without having to track everything with me to the amenity center. I still don't have a washer and dryer but I'm ok with that. I don't mind going to the amenity center to do laundry, which desperately needs to be done tomorrow because it gets me out of the house. I also use the amenity center to work out. Today I didn't work out...bad me. But tomorrow I will. Anthony and I are doing this competition thing to see who can run the most miles in a month. Now I know what you're all thinking "what are you crazy, he run way more than you cause of the army" well, it'a all about timing and energy level. This week I have the time and the energy to run at least 2 miles a day (minus today) which puts me at 10 miles for the week (we started this whole thing yesterday). If I complete 10-12 miles each week until december 9th which makes about 4 weeks then I'll have ran 40-48 miles this month. Crazy when you think about it. I wanna try and run 40 miles this month and just keep increasing miles per month as I go. It's an accomplishment thing for me cause I never work out. Oh yeah, the winner, whoever runs the most miles in a month, gets a prize! I'm not sure of the prize but it'll be a good one! =]

Work is great. I'm officially done with orientation and will be starting on my own Friday night. Exciting but scary at the same time. I really can't wait! I'll update after my first week of work is over. I'm hoping I make enough PTO to be able to fly home and visit my family. They miss me and I miss them so much! I'm missing out on a bunch too, like Camden, my little bro, drives now. WTF mate? My little brosuf is driving. This is ridiculous. Seriously. But I'm way proud of him. =]

Alright. I have nothing else to say. I love you all!

♥

What a day. I've been up since 0500 and am not going to bed until at least 0700 tomorrow morning (I hope I make it). WHY you may ask...cause tomorrow night officially starts my first night shift. In order to keep myself awake and functioning I plan on being in the 24 hour amenity center as long as possible. For now it's just so I can get laundry done. So here I sit, alone, on the floor, listening to the spinning of both washing machines. I'm currently waiting for the 'add fabric softener' light to turn on. It's like my own personal space. I kinda feel like I'm in college again. The whole doing laundry outside of your living space brings that all together for me. For tonight, it's OK, but I really think it's time for my own washer and dryer in my apartment. I have been thinking about this for quite sometime and have just been too lazy to call or I forget. I also really must get internet. The whole not having internet at my apartment is killing me, and it makes it hard to check my work email and get anything else productive done. But at least I have TV which keeps me mostly sane.

So I've decided. I've decided that if Anthony drove up here and asked me to marry him tomorrow, with out without a ring, I'd say yes. I know that my mom would not think me wise but I can't explain it, when you know, you know. Now, this isn't something that I've just decided in the moment, it's something I've been thinking about since probably July. For me, it's like every other decision I've made in life. When I was 18, I thought I wanted to be a nurse, but I wasn't completely sure. Now, I'm 22, graduated and working at a wonderful hospital and I know that a nurse is exactly what I want to be. With Anthony, it's the same way. In the beginning I wasn't completely sure. I knew I loved him, but was he THE ONE? And now, I can't imagine my life without him, at all. We've done a lot of talking lately about a lot of things. We're definitely taking things one year at a time. I'm not sure when we'll be engaged, but I know, that when he asks me, the answer is yes.

Kinda heavy right? I know, I've been feeling all these things in my head and heart for a while and I think I finally have them sorted. Well, mostly sorted. =)

Anyway, enough for now. I think I've placed my words correctly and said quite a bit for one evening.

Goodnight moon, may the sun greet you with a smile in the morning.

♥

Dinner last night was pretty spectacular, minus the whole fact that we each paid like $40 to eat meat on a plate. We should have known it was going to be like that when we pulled up and they were vallet parking people and absolutely should have known after we walked in and saw that it was all dimly lit and there were empty tables but it was still a 30 minute wait cause we didn't have a reservation. We decided to sit in the bar cause we didn't want to wait and the waiter came and asked Anthony and I if we wanted Pellegrinio or regular tap water. It was WAY fancy. Beth and Brad felt completely under dressed but we ended up having a good time anyway. Anthony was the only one who was smart and actually read the menu carefully cause he ended up with a steak about the size of his fist and some scalloped potatoes. Needless to say, we won't be going there again. We sat there for 4 hours talking and regaling each other with memories from college. It was really nice to see Beth and to meet Brad. The next time I come to San Antonio Beth and I are going to go on the ghost tour. =D

Tuesday is my last class for orientation. It's skin class from 07-1200 and then RT/Trach from 1230-1530. I start nights the next day on Wednesday and am pretty excited about it. Actually I'm super excited for my last off unit day with the pain management team. Those guys are flippin' hilarious. Next week starts the last two week of orientation. I can't believe that by the time October ends I'll be done with orientation. It blows my mind. Completely blows my mind. I feel ready but at the same time I don't. But I guess I'll never completely be ready and but I'll never be completely alone either. This was comforting advice from a girl who just finished her orientation on Wednesday. It will definitely be a defining moment in my life when I take my first group of patients completely on my own.

6ish days til my ladies get here! SO EXCITED

♥

Goodness it's been a while. So since I've been here, Jamie, Kyrsten AND Becky all got jobs at Scott and White. How exciting for them and for me cause now I'll have people that I know well close to me. Jamie and Kyrsten are living in the same complex as I am in Belton and Beck is living in Temple. They all get here on the 14th...it's like mass exodus to Texas from Arizona all at one time but I am really excited. Unfortunately when they get here I won't be able to help them move in but I'll see them soon, even though I am starting nights next week. EEP! Beck came to Temple to check out apartments on Wed and I went to dinner with her and her mom on Thursday night. It was really nice. =]

Other than that, I have no other exciting news. I'm in San Antonio this weekend cause I love Anthony and at this time, this is the only way I'll see him cause he's doing army training. It doesn't bother me though to drive down to San Antonio. The drive isn't too bad, although I must remember to wear my glasses when I make the drive cause my eyes get super dry if I wear my contacts. Beth arrived in San Antonio I think on Wednesday and tonight she, her fiancee, Anthony and I are going to get dinner. I'm pretty excited for this occasion cause before Thursday's dinner with Beck and her mom I have been completely deprived of people I know and love at NAU.

Work is going well. At the end of October I am off of orientation and am on my own, meaning I no longer have a preceptor. I feel o about this prospect though cause technically I am on my own already and I ask for help when I need it. Thats pretty much how it'll be when I am officially alone except it'll be on nights instead of days, thank goodness.

Well time to get ready for dinner. =]

Ciao
♥

My how time flies!
So I went to San Antonio two weekends ago to visit with Anthony and it was the best weekend ever. Those of you who are friends with Anthony on FB can see the pics from the Riverwalk, I lack internet in my apartment at this moment and have not found time to put them up. Speaking of my apartment...I'm moved in! YAY! I flippin love it in my new place, but it's still in the process of being lived in. Not all my things are unpacked yet but I am hoping to finish that more this weekend. Pics to come of that as well once it's cleaned up.
Work is completely BUSY but WAY FUN!! This week I worked two 12's and three 8's and am LOVING it even though I am exhausted! It's med-surg but a little different than the average med-surg. The unit I work on is a neuro tele/trauma surgery unit. We get a myriad of things. Literally. Everything from people who are s/p MVA with chest tubes, serious wounds with multiple drains to people who are just here for observation because they are having their intrathecal pain pumps adjusted. It's an awesome unit. At the moment I work days and will for about another three-ish weeks. Then I switch to 3-11 and after that i start nights. I'm really excited!

Other than work, there is nothing interesting going on in my life. It's just me and my apartment in Belton, TX. =]

catch y'all later! (haha...totally texas lingo...y'all...haha)
♥

So I am currently in Temple, TX and have started work. I live in the Travelodge which is AWESOME...not. I mean it's not the RItz or anything but it isn't a bad place to be for the time until my apartment is ready. the only thing I don't like is that the crickets here are massive and they like to hang out in my room. Crickets are lucky, I get that but that doesn't mean they don't freak me out any less. I put a towel down in front of the part of my door that I watched one crawl under this morning. It totally freaked me out for sure cause at first I thought it was a spider but then it slid down and I realized it was a cricket. I had three of them in my room this morning. It was not fun. However, when I came back there weren't any live ones that were making themselves known. Just a dead one. I'm hoping it stays that way for the rest of my time here cause they are not welcome in my room, AT ALL. I really hope I didn't jinx myself. Time to un-jinx...Jinx back, double pinkie, round the side, double pinkie, jinx back!! There...I feel better.

This weekend I'm going to visit Anthony! YAY! I cannot wait! I leave Friday and I don't work Monday so I'm staying in San Antonio until Monday afternoon! I'm SO EXCITED!!! Speaking of work, it's massively boring right now. All we do is sit and listen. It's been two days of powerpoints and I'm so glad that they are winding down cause it was getting hard to stay lively in orientation today. I have two more days of GNO, general nursing orientation and I'm not sure what I have going on Friday then I have a 3.5 day weekend! Pictures of this weekend to come. :D

T-minus 2.5 days til San Antonio!! :D
T-minus 10 days til apartment move in and Mom comes!!


♥

Went to TX last week and it was pretty neat. WAY different from AZ. Really. But I like it. The hospital that I'll be working at is quite huge. The campus is so vast and really spread out. Unfortunately I have no pictures to show et cause I didn't remember my camera this time around. But the town isn't that exciting. It's small but there is a loop that goes around it and the I-35 cuts right through it. I go back on the 29th and have the pleasure of staying in a hotel for two weeks until I can move into my apartment. It kinda sucks but oh well, such is life. I already have planned out what furniture I want to buy when I first move in. I just don't know what colors I want my rooms to be. I can't paint or anything like that but I want to have fun colors to liven up my place. So far the only color I have to work with is a wine purple color that is my duvet cover. It's really pretty.

I can't wait to go back, start work, move into my apartment and of course SEE ANTHONY! I miss him SO MUCH. Today is our 4 year anniversary and he sent me flowers and the sweetest note. As soon as I read it I cried cause I'm a sap. But I really love him and I miss him terribly. Hopefully I get to see him the first weekend in September.

Well Thats all here. It's raining really hard and I need a shower since I've been cleaning my room all day long. I think i'm making massive progress.

♥

So I'm pretty close to almost being almost done packing. Does that make sense? I hope so. Anyway...I'm having this complex about packing cause that means that I'm really moving away which is sad for me. I want to leave but I don't at the same time. The other issue I have with packing is trying to decide what is really important to box and ship and what can just stay here. I need to talk with my mom and see if I can leave many of my little knic-knac's here cause I'm not sure how many of them I want to bring with.

Moving is a sucky way of figuring out what material items are really important to you. Especially when you are shipping those material items.

Blarg...

End.

.:♥:.

I absolutely love my life right now! Even though I can't move into my apartment in Belton until Sept 9th and I have to live in a hotel for two weeks after my start date, I'm still wicked happy! Perhaps it's because I BOUGHT A CAR YESTERDAY!!!! I'm still in surreal land at this moment...but I'm super happy. It's a 2010 Kia Forte Koup SX! I can't believe how grown up I feel at this moment...new car, new job, new apartment, new city. Scary but exciting. I'll post pics of my car very soon!!!

.:♥:.

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!

I am almost an official Employee with Scott and White Hospital in Temple TX!!! I'm so excited and so proud of myself!!! I'll be working on something like a trauma step down unit/ tele floor. I'm way excited!!! My tenitive move date is Aug 16th...I'm excited but so scared at the same time!!!

Wish me luck and love!

♥

I just had my first interview for a hospital in Temple, Tx. It was nerve wracking and I am truly not sure how I did. I was nervous in the beginning but it definitely got better as the questions went on. It was only 30 minutes and about 10 of those minutes were me asking questions and gathering information. The best part...that was most likely my only interview for these positions...oh goodness I really hope I did okay. I find out next week sometime, but I have the phone number to contact them if I do not hear from them. I think I need to write them a thank you letter for the interview.

Hopefully I get this position and if not, I'll try again and see about someone else.

♥

Everyday is a gift.

Today a former class mate of mine passed away due to complications from an IED in Afghanistan.

Chris Moon, I didn't know you very well but I thank you for serving our country. You will be missed and my prayers are with your family and friends.

It scares me to know that I know soldiers who will end up in Afghanistan and could possibly end up not returning home alive.

So I'm back and let me just say...having my nursing license and being OFFICIAL is really a great feeling. Even though I have no job to use it with yet I am still totally excited!

Kassandra Wilka RN, BSN. That has a great ring to it if I do say so myself. =]

Look me up RN163563

♥

I passed....

OH WOW!!!

It doesn't feel real at this moment but I'll let you know when it does.

Kassandra Wilka RN, BSN...weird

♥

I find out tomorrow...OH GOODNESS.

I'm so nervous.

♥

So...took the NCLEX today and felt very blah for most of the day. I finished in about 2 hours and was only given 75 questions. Totally not what I expected. I figured that I'd get more than that for sure, especially since the standard was raised for passing standard. I dunno...so I came home and laid around for the whole day for sure. Watched Gilmore Girls, ate Eegees, watched more GG, ate dinner, watched I love you man with my mom and now it's bed time.

It's been such a day. I'm just nervous cause I didn't know the answer to the first question and after that I felt like I wasn't doing well even though I pushed that put of my brain til the exam kicked me off. It's just a weird feeling. I am completely not sure if I was getting passing level questions or failing level questions cause at the end of the day and at the end of Kaplan, they all feel the same to me. Decision Tree or not, they feel all the same to me. I do know however that I was on a roll of either passing or failing cause the computer didn't have to think about what question to give me next, it just gave one to me.

I'm a jumble of mush and I get my unofficial results on Thursday for $7.95 via the internet or I can wait approximately 4 weeks for the AZ BON to declare me "pass/fail". I want to know, but then again, I don't. I'll probably cave and pay the eight bucks to see my "unofficial" results cause I am curious but it could be disappointing. Who flippin knows.

I'm babbling.

I thank Anthony for studying with me, Beck for the card, Jamie for calling me last night and Laura O for calling me today to remind me that I am smart and that it's gonna be good and thanks to all the peeps on FB for the massive encouragement. It really does mean a lot.

Hopefully Thursday brings good news.

♥

Kassie

I take my boards tomorrow...and I actually feel ready. I am not nervous for the test but more so that I am the first person to take it. The good thing about that is, I can go in clear headed and know that no one before me has passed or failed and they did this or that or whatever. The bad thing of that is, people will be asking about the exam. Which truthfully doesn't bother me. I will have only a limited amount of information to give everyone. However, I am happy to share what info I get.

I posted an inspirational message on facebook, to remind myself and to remind everyone else of what we have accomplished. Here it is: To all my nurses taking NCLEX: Don't fret and don't fear. Remember we were trained for the last 2.5/3 years to become nurses and majority of us tookKaplan. Kaplan says if we do all they say we'll pass or our money back. Would they really say that if they were not confident in their program? NO! We are all going to do great. Just remember to breathe and take your time. SI SE PUEDE!!!!!!

I hope this makes everyone (or just Laura) feel better about NCLEX. It helped me remember that it is going to be alright and to help me be confident.

I love you all...and I'll fill you all in at a later date!

♥

Kassie

I just discovered I get heat rashes.

Heat rashes, like the ones babies get that look like mini patches of small white head pimples.

I've never gotten one until last summer and then nothing and now...here it is again.

Still no word on the job front. It's being postponed though until I get my boards out of the way, which is happening on June 15th. Eeeeeeeeek...here's to hoping I pass.

Time to shower and sleep for tomorrow is another day of studying. Bleh.

♥

Updates to my life:
After spring break everything went crazy as my group and I tried to finish up our projects and et ready for graduation. I started to get really upset, especially after everyone got hired at FMC. No one wanted to even consider me for a job cause I'm a new grad and I kept getting rejection after rejection. It truly made me want to cry. Then on that same day, hope came knocking, I got an email from Seton asking me some questions about working and before I knew it I was routed to 3 hospitals and a clinic in Austin. I hope this means good news for me. I hope I get a job in Texas.

For now though, I am home and on some days I love it and others I want to rip my own head off. My family loves each other very much, don't get me wrong, but some days I just want to...well, I'll leave it at that.

I miss everyone from school. I miss Sara and Jamie. I miss all my nursing girls. I just miss school in general. Not the learning part, but the independence part. I really struggle with the whole "being an independent adult" bit when I am home.

Back to cleaning and packing my life away. I have so much stuff and I'm not quite sure what to do with it all. Studying starts Monday. Here's to passing my NCLEX!

Toodles,

Kassie

My life be like...

So today is the first "official" day of spring break...I happen to be spending it at my kitchen table in Tucson waiting for UMC to quit sucking at life and post their new grad applications like they said they would. I hate that they said one thing and definitely another thing is going on. I really want a job and since this is pretty close to a guarentee cause it's for NEW GRADS, I really want those positions to be on line...like NOW!

I might go lay in the sun in my backyard. It's 66 degrees out right now and the sun is beating down on the grass and it's calling my name. I am hoping to gather some color this break before I head back to the cold and snow in Flagstaff on Thursday...or Friday. Not completely sure which day I want to leave yet.

Whatever sickness I had is going away now. I think I caught a virus and ended up with a sinus infection, at least that's what the MD told me at Fronske. Since my symptoms did not improve on Sunday, I started my Amoxicillin 875. Holy eff they are the biggest pills I have ever taken.

I think I have word vomited enough for today.

Toodles
Kassie

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven...

I just found out, about 20 minutes ago, that a friend of mine from a long time back was shot and killed in October of last year. We hadn't talked in a long time, about two years and tonight I was just thinking about him and wanted to see how he was doing and how his wife and kids were and as I'm looking at his myspace I see his sister's, wife's and mom's myspace names all say RIP Zach. It took me a bit of rambling around to figure out what happened and when but when I finally found it, sadness just overwhelmed me. It's just shocking to know that anyone you lose touch with could be gone in an instant.

Zach,
I know we weren't the best of friends and I know we lost touch over the years but know that you were a really great friend to me. I will always cherish the friendship we had and all the memories that come with it. Camp Adventure will always hold a special place in my heart thanks to you.
You will be missed.

So this week was definitely better...thus far.
So we had this cute little old man who only spoke spanish in 17 and everytime I went into his room I'd say (please note: my spanish is not great which means my spelling is not great either) "buenos noches, tienes dolor?" and he would start saying something and then point to his head. I gathered headache and said "pastieas que dolor?" and he always said no. So it's around 0530 on Thursday morning and I was getting most recent vitals for report to let the on coming nurse know if my patients were stable or not. Got my first set from 19 and then went to go see my old friend in 17 but his most recent were ar 2200 and I didn't think that would be accurate enough for report so I stopped the PCT and told her I wanted vitals before he went for a shower and then onto his procedure. Everything was within normal limits for an adult until I got to his blood pressure and it was like 220/98 but I thought I heard wrong so I checked again and got 200/90. I asked the PCT to wait on the shower and please double check the pressure because his pressure was really high and I wanted to make doubley sure cause we do manual pressures. She confirmed and I ran to get my nurse, explained the situation and since she was helping our new admit get to her procedure, I traded her places and got the new admit cleaned up and off to her procedure.

YAY I DID SOMETHING RIGHT!!! finally...=]
I was actually really proud that I caught that and the only reason I caught it was cause I wanted a more recent set of vitals. GO ME! It didn't dawn on me til later though that a headache could mean high blood pressure until I got home and had a headache myself and had my "ah-ha" moment.

After we got off shift, I went to breakfast at Mosaic Cafe with Rhoda (my nurse), Judy, Ramona, Sarah, Shirley and a day shift nurse who I had never met before. It was a great ending to a great catch for me.

Work tomorrow night, number 7...1/2 way done! YAY!

I still can't believe it...

I sat there and watched my patient's heart rate climb in to the 150's and 160's at times, and I didn't do anything. I just sat there and watched it happen like nothing was wrong. That can't happen ever, and I let it happen.

And of course when you try and talk about it with someone you hope will at least try to make you feel better, they completely fail and make you feel worse.

I just don't know if I should be allowed to be a nurse. Who would ever allow me, to be a nurse, if I can't even let someone know that my patient's heart rate is too high.

I just don't know about anything anymore.

So last night was pretty interesting. So one of my patients had a history of A-fib and I guessour floor can take people who are med-surg but are also tele patients at the same time, but they have ot be stable enough for med surg to handle. So we had this lady who had been on our floor for about three days and her heart was great. Then the cardiologist came for a consult, requested med-surg tele and suddenly she is in A-flutter or so the rapid response nurse said. Here's the thing though, I didn't even think to say anything cause, for a breif moment, forgot that HR of 150 is NOT ok for an adult. I felt like such a bone head. So my nurse looked at her on the monitor and asked me if I saw that and I said yes but had no explanation as to why I didn't say anything and she said it was ok cause our patient was asymptomatic but that if I see something like that again I need to tell her cause whoever it is needs to be moved to tele. So I said ok and we got it all taken care of and we moved her. Total "my bad's" of the preceptorship: 1. After that nothing too exciting, until I had to go pee and of course someone on tele would code while I was peeing. The first opportunity I have ever had to see a code in real life and by the time I see what's happening and get to the end of my hall which looks right into the room where the code is happening, 50 million people are in the room and in the doorway so I can't actually see anything except the crash cart and the person who is doing compressions and everyone else who is standing. It made me wish I hadn't gone pee, cause the last place I was, was standing down quite close to the room where it had happened, and if I hadn't had to pee...They brought the person back and took them to ICU so hopefully they will be ok.
I know that it is wrong that I am upset about not seeing the code like I wanted to, but I want to work in an ICU setting, where people just might code and I just once, want to be in the room to see what goes on so that way I don't feel so afraid when one actually happens to me. I guess it'll just be a waiting game.

SURVIVED MY FIRST NIGHT SHIFT!!! YAY!
It wasn't bad and I knew it wouldn't be I just didn't want to do it. If I had to work med-surg as my first job, I guess I could do it if I worked nights. If there are no night admissions then everything is great. Everything gets done by about midnight and then there is time to chart and then stuff starts up again around 3 or 4 am. I could take that 3-4 hours "break" if I had to work med-surg. The only thing I don't like is the 5 or 6 patients that each nurse has. Definitely not my idea of a good time, but at night, it's not too bad I guess. I took last night as my test shift, to make sure I was oriented to everything I needed to know. My hospital does paper charting for meds, vitals, assessments, I/O and notes, which is so backwards for me cause I've only ever done computer charting and on the computer, if you mess up you can hit delete. On paper, not so much. It was an odd learning curve for me but next week I'll be ready to take on one patient. By Saturday 1/30 I'll take three and then hopefully by the beginning of Feb I will be good enough/comfortable enough to do absolutely everything for all 4 or 5 of her patients. =/

I don't work again til next Wednesday cause my nurse took PTO which for me will be nice cause then I can get some homework done and make sure that all the paperwork that she needs from me is in order the next time I see her. And I can also be prepared to write nurses notes. I've never been good at those so I need to practice before I get back to the floor.

As far as working nights, sleeping days goes. Put a fat black sheet over your window and call it a day. Totally helped me and I actually got more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I think if I work nights for reals I will buy blackout curtains.

Well my cat is snoring on my bed and I'm flippin starved. Off to find food.

Today would be the first day of my new blog. In high school I had a livejournal and sometimes I go back and read it but there are a lot of memories there that I can't always look at. So I figured I start anew.

Today would be 1/18 at 22:45...which means that tomorrow at 1900 I start my first or 14 shifts at St Mary's. I'm on a med-surg floor so nothing super exciting to do but standard stuff. Plus, I have a feeling I'll be wanting to fall asleep around this time when all the meds are done and the patients are all sleeping cause that's about all med-surg consists of at night right? Hopefully it'll be more exciting than what I think it is cause I would honestly hate to spend 14 shifts not really doing a whole lot and not improving any of my nursing skills.

In other news...I think I'm moving to Texas after graduation. Probably the San Antonio/Austin area but that is still being debated. I'm also a bit nervous for that as well. I mean if I get a job in San Antonio then that would be cool cause I know Anthony will be there and at least I would know someone but what if I don't get a job there...then what? I start in a new city all alone. I'm not the type to be alone, in fact I hate it. So this will definitely be a whole new experience for me.

Well...I shant bore you another second.
Toodles.
Kassie